CRITICISM -
Sometimes in LIFE we find ourselves manifesting certain attitudes that will separate us from our others. We are told in the Bible to, "love one another", but of course this is not easy. Before we can have good Christian relationships we need to recognize those things that build walls between us. I want to notice only two but I'm sure these stand out foremost in everyone's mind. I have been told there are two kinds of criticism; constructive and destructive criticism. This type of critique is for the purpose of benefiting the one being criticized. I think there is one important thing that will determine how the criticism is taken. When a person is criticized they must determine if the person doing the criticizing wants to help or hurt. It is easy to criticize someone you don't like much and not be concerned about the outcome. I believe I have been criticized both ways, offended by some, helped by others.
What is that key ingredient that makes criticism work to the benefiting of the one being criticized? I will give you a personal experience. When I first started thinking I guess I was like many young adults, zealous, ambitious, wanting myself to be perfect, and doing what I thought was right. My heart was then and is now in that which is best for me and my family, but these traits of mine were misread by some. An old friend got a hold of me and said, "Jeff, you come over to people as being headstrong, laidback and belligerent". If someone said that to you how would you take it? I told the old friend, "I don't want to be that way and I didn't realize I was leaving that impression". What my old friend said has done me a world of good. The criticism was constructive because I knew my old friend loved me as a person for who i am and wanted to help me, not hurt or get even with me. If I would have felt he was just trying to hurt me it would have certainly done damage to our relationship. Love was that key ingredient.
There are other reasons why people criticize one another so I want to notice some of them. A faultfinder criticizes because they have a poor self image. Such a person feels that by making others look bad they themselves look better. Running others down makes them feel important. This of course is a bad case of self deception. Others may criticize because they are self righteous. Another reason people criticize is because they are jealous or just holding a grudge. This is their way of getting even and satisfying their resentment and jealousy. Another class of people who criticize are those who do it by habit. They have complained and griped for so long it becomes a habit. We need to remember that criticism is a two way street.
Remember the next time you want to criticize someone, your friends may determine that you have an inferiority complex, or may be suffering from a lack of self esteem, or that you are self righteous, or you are jealous of the person you are criticizing or feeding a grudge or possibly just a fault finder. When we criticize others behind their backs we may be telling others a little bit about ourselves and our personalities.
Regularly being criticised can eat away at a person until they really believe the messages they are being told. Criticism is OK if it comes with good reasoning and explanation. So, the boss may say,'This is where you are going wrong, this is why you are going wrong and here's how to improve'.
However people often forget the second and third parts. So much of what I do is spent reconnecting a person to their natural strengths and qualities and helping them build an immunity from withering criticism.
Criticism destroys confidence. When you are constantly criticised you:
Think that everything which goes wrong is your fault
Become highly sensitive to criticism
Expect to be told off, whatever you do
Blame yourself when things don't work out
Daren't take risks in case you fail
A good general not only sees the way to victory; he also knows when victory is impossible.
A good general not only sees the way to victory; he also knows when victory is impossible.
YO YO! Mr Lim in the house.
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YO YO! Mr Lim in the house.
Miss Koh right with me
Hey, I am back!
Feb 25th.. Days fly really fast since my birthday and i still dont have the pictures yet. Hahaha, exams are over! O.V.E.R yea! Post graduates now. Currently, getting ready for work and going to army soon yea, but meanwhile i am still doing my TAN KAR KEE AWARD which will happen on the first of March. Oh boy am i excited about that! I will be requiring help from friends that are specialize in these areas, nevertheless have to keep working till its over.
Alright, let me post some pictures first..
Yes Cam-Whoring myself and colleagues
Today was good but pretty tired from exhausting my energy for the last few days, probably due to the bad weather and all. Met up with my great bestest buddy Mr Eugene Yeong, had a great time gymming despite my illness ( i think the cure for me is to excerise ) hahaha, well we pretty much did chest and biceps and yea i will show you one picture which he asked me to take for him..
Mr 2008 small eyes la-pimp!
Oh btw, i went clubbing last friday after like dunno how long was it ago that i last club. hahaa, it was more of party animals getting together to enjoy ourselves, proudly my another best buddy the womaniser Ethan as you can see from the picture.. hahahahaha, along with Greg, John, Edward, Aj and other cools guys..
We were playing 5-10, dare and dare and some other lame items, hahah but the best was watching my 2 best buddy french kissing.. HAHAHA! Like Mr Eugene Yeong say, birds of the same feather flocks together.. HAHAHAHAHA!
(i will especially highlight these sentences)
Oh ok, lets continue, where was i? Oh ya, meanwhile i will be busy preparing for my presentation which i really hope to win 10k.. 5k would also do.. haha but i am sure we will give our best.
Lastly, good luck to your ATT tml cheesecake, do well! Alrighty, back to business already, and thanks Mr Yeong for laming with me today, you Mr Rashes Boy!
A good general not only sees the way to victory; he also knows when victory is impossible.
Ok, i have to admit, I know havent been updating lately. I'm just too tired and busy with the workload and exams that i am having. I promised to write out what i gone thru and what i have been doing since 2 weeks ago.my birthday celebrations..my tan kar kee award..the police project..my exams..This are the list that have been happening.. promise i will update yea =)
A good general not only sees the way to victory; he also knows when victory is impossible.
A good general not only sees the way to victory; he also knows when victory is impossible.
Chinese New YearThrow the old, bring the new..I will change my blogskin to something brighter.. its time for a change.change everything.. leave nothing.the children are fine.wait for my updates.enjoy ur holiday people.
A good general not only sees the way to victory; he also knows when victory is impossible.
Guys guys.!HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!~It is a festive season to have fun, collect ang bao, eat good and have good fun with your relatives..I am off to sentosa tml before going down to my cousins place.. RAWRRRRRRRRRRR..and yes, 1 more paper.. 1 more.. :Dfinally, Birthday celebrations upcoming :11th - Dinner celebration.12th - Friends celebration.13th - Not confirm.14th - Valentine celebration.To those invited, you will receive a msg or email from me.. meanwhile, have a great CNY Guys.. ps: i will come eat all the goodies you have.. =)
A good general not only sees the way to victory; he also knows when victory is impossible.
Ok people listen to this....
Time is money
That waits for no man.
I am so busy,
I dont have time..
and im not making money..
so wth?!
Damn la.. im so busy recently.. chiong ah projects.. go go go!
Ok some gay pictures.. =)
gtg guys.. i have papers on chinese new year eve..
lastly, cheesecake cheesecake.. i want and i need you. XOXO.. ( aint sure wad it means ) :)
A good general not only sees the way to victory; he also knows when victory is impossible.
